Hello everyone, and welcome to 111 Archer Avenue. What started as a film review blog has become my online judgment forum. I will review the occasional movie or DVD, post an interesting trailer, critique a newly-read book, talk about sports, and share my thoughts and opinions on random issues. You can also follow me on Twitter (@OlieCoen) or check out my work on DVDTalk.com. Thank you and enjoy!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Sports - Faces

I usually do sports posts on Wednesdays, and I guess one could argue that my Knuckleball! DVD review was athletic enough.  And I also usually write only one post per day.  But today I have another sports-related thought on my mind that I'd like to share; a double dose!

There are some people that I just can't stand.  Often these people are on television.  I don't yell hateful things at them or call them awful names, but I just don't like them.  And I feel that because they are on TV and have put themselves out there that I have the "right" to judge them.  It seems to be a common theme that there is something I focus my dislike of these people on; their face.  I just can't stand some peoples' faces.  Maybe it's weird, or maybe your face can show a lot of your character, but I often find myself saying, "Ugh, I just don't like his face!" and it having nothing to do with attractiveness.  So here are a few sports-related members of the Don't Like Your Face Club.

Philip Rivers - Perhaps it's because he plays for San Diego, but I just can't stand this guy, and I like to think that it's mostly due to his face.  He's just a terribly unlikable guy and it's painful for me to look at him.  He's whiny, immature, and generally bothersome.

Chase Utley - There's nothing horribly offensive about his face, but there's just something there that tells me that if I ever met him I would instantly dislike him.  Maybe it's the chew and the slicked back hair.  Whatever it is, he looks untrustworthy, and I'd steer clear.

Mark Teixeira - Now, at first glance he looks alright.  He doesn't look evil or anything, but there's just something about him that makes me sure that he's a huge dingus.  I can't put my finger on it, but maybe he's not the brightest crayon in the box.  Yes, a dingus.

As a disclaimer I'd like to say that, obviously, I don't know these guys.  They could be heroes or sweethearts or furry little kittens and I wouldn't know.  But for some reason their faces just really rub me the wrong way.  Oh well, Philip Rivers probably wouldn't like me either.  And here are two more, added by popular demand.

Jay Cutler - Ahh, Cutler.  The moment I saw him on TV at the Draft I turned to my friend and said, "Who's that douche bag?".  About ten minutes later the Broncos drafted him.  No NFL player since Ricky Williams has been more lethargic and uninspiring.  Maybe it's his diabetes.

Tyler Hansbrough - His face is a mix of Drago from Rocky IV and Johnny from The Karate Kid.  He always looks to be about one second away from either punching you or crying and stamping his foot.  He was tough, no doubt about that, but he was somehow also a big baby.


  1. Okay, Philip Rivers is a terrible person, but you kind of poison the well a bit with that ridiculous picture. I chuckled, but that is a facial expression that I think everyone would look silly doing.

    A few more for consideration: Jay Cutler, Tyler Hansborough, Ryan Kelley (really, any white Duke player, take your pick), and Sidney Crosby.

    1. Well I'm not gonna find a picture of him looking dapper, that wouldn't be any fun.

      I added Cutler & Hansbrough, but I have nothing against Crosby. And Kelly isn't awful, he's just funny-looking.

  2. I like the addition of Eli, too. I don't dislike him, but I like him *in spite of* his face.